


smooth to the touch

by nesii



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, P!ATD, Panic! at the Disco - Freeform, Ryden, Smut, mainly ryden tho, ryden au, ryden smut, some peterick, stripper!ryan, this is a poorly written story but oh well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-05-28 23:27:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6349945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nesii/pseuds/nesii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ryan's a stripper & brendon's a boy with gay assholes for friends.</p><p>(HEADS UP!) I wrote this on wattpad a while back, and i didn't feel like re-indenting the story, so i'm sorry if it's all jumbled together. i might rewrite this one day, so look for that in the future. ty, and pleaase keep in mind that this is my first fic i've ever wrote!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. sweet honey eyes

**Author's Note:**

> some chapters may contain smut.  
> mainly ryan and brendon :^)

the night was cold, and brendon was hanging around with pete and patrick. they were his best friends, both of them always wearing a crazy grin on their face. brendon took in a long breath, exhaling slowly and watching as smoke swirled in the air. pete was rambling on about how brendon was a bitch for not wanting to follow him into a club, and he wasn't gonna take no for an answer. brendon sighed in defeat, finally, and nodded in approval. "we can go. just this once, though" he mumbled, running an icy hand through his hair and adjusting it out of habit. pete grinned and motioned for brendon and patrick to follow him, so they did. 

after about ten minutes of walking, they came to a place with an angry looking bouncer at the entrance with a blinding neon pink sign reading 'lavender home' lit up the whole road. brendon held his breath as he walked inside behind pete, who was snickering loudly, and looked around in astonishment when he was inside. there were blinding lights and loud music out of nowhere, and when brendon looked up to the poles placed neatly in the center of the club, he gasped quietly. it wasn't just any club.  
it was a strip club.  
a gay strip club.

brendon turned to find pete, to give him a punch in the face, but found that he and patrick had already dashed off somewhere.  
great. i'm in this alone, he thought to himself. he sighed heavily as he walked further into the building, shivering as the eyes of many old, predator-like men waved and grinned at him. he looked to the stage to see your usual tall, muscular guys dancing around the poles and sliding close to the edge so some man could hook a twenty under his skirt. he wasn't even remotely interested. they were all just.. too comfortable. it made brendon uneasy. 

all of the men winked at him and continued on with their show, and brendon rolled his eyes. he trailed on further to see a smaller, younger boy dancing nervously around the poles, wearing only some booty shorts that made his ass hang out and a loose t-shirt that hung loosely around his frame, exposing his collarbones. he wore a purple stripe across his eyes accompanied by a tim burton-esque pattern drawn under each beautiful honey eye, and a light blush to his face. he looked like he was going to vomit. brendon walked a bit closer as some man swiped out at the boy's ankle, grabbing him and trying to pull him as he yelped and collapsed with a sickening thud, and brendon sped up his pace. he kicked at the man's ankle himself and socked him directly in the face, right into the crowd. his breathing was heavy. "what the fuck is wrong with you, you creep?" he spat, stalking over to the stumbling man and dragging him up by the collar. the man looked at him in defeat and shoved himself away, backing out of the crowd.  
brendon turned around to see the boy staring with wide, gorgeous eyes. he walked up to him and the boy recoiled, but brendon didn't lift a hand to touch him. "are you okay?" he asked quietly, his voice only audible to the cowering boy over the booming music. he nodded and stuttered a quiet "thanks" before standing shakily and returning to the pole for about 10 more minutes. brendon was radiating a strange heat now, and almost punched pete when he tapped his shoulder from behind. "woah! easy tiger" the man snickered, handing brendon a drink, which he downed quickly. "what's up with you, bren?" he arched an eyebrow, and brendon only shook his head in response, storming off.  
he found a bathroom fairly quickly and walked in, going over to the sink and turning it on, splashing his face with cold water and trying to steady his breathing. "people are so disgusting. damn" he shook his head, running a hand through his messy hair and rambling to himself. he grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser and wiped his hands dry along with his face, ringing it into the bin on the opposite side of the bathroom. "so fuckin gross.." he mumbled, walking forward with his eyes to the ground until he sensed a presence and stopped, looking up.  
honey eyes.


	2. close encounter

the boy locked eyes with brendon for just too long for it to be considered normal, but brendon just stared back. he was much prettier up close. a blush spread across the boy's face as he blinked and looked away, staring at the ground. brendon's eyes scanned him over quietly, admiring the thin shape of his body. he noticed how shaky the boy's hands were, and how long his fingers were as well. that was a little embarrassing to think about, but still.   
"hey. are you alright? you seem really shaken up.." brendon said quietly, surprised at how nervous his own voice sounded. he raised a hand to put it on the boy's shoulder, but thought on it and replaced it by his side. "i'm..fine" he stuttered out, fumbling his hands together in a messy attempt to hide the panic rising inside of him. "you sure? you could probably talk to someone about leaving..just take a sick day" brendon offered, but was quickly cut off by the boy. "it's fine. i promise" he said hesitantly, flashing brendon the most pathetically broken smile he'd ever seen. his heart melted, and he stepped closer to him. the boy flinched lightly but didn't protest as brendon wrapped his arms around his frame, pulling him tight for a hug. he looked like he needed it. "my n-name is ryan, by the way" the boy said quietly, pressing his face lightly into brendon's body as he emitted quiet but racking sobs. brendon sighed and put a hand in ryan's hair, whispering soothing words to him. "nice to meet you. im brendon" he replied with a small smile, pushing ryan away gently and cupping his face with a hand, wiping the tears away. ryan blushed even more and sniffled. he really didn't want to move away from brendon at this point. he closed his eyes and sighed, jumping slightly when a dry paper towel was dabbed around his eyes, gentle and careful not to smear his makeup. "there you go. all better" brendon smiled, patting ryan's shoulder and tossing the paper towel in the bin. ryan muttered a "thank you" and looked up to meet brendon's eyes again, the same heat going directly to his cheeks. "this is a long shot, but.." brendon started, and ryan's heart sunk immediately. he knew what was coming. probably a "can i pay to touch you" or a "can i have a private sh—" "do you want to meet somewhere later and talk?" he finished, his voice calming and velvety smooth. he watched as ryan's eyes widened curiously, followed by a quick nod of his head. brendon smiled. a genuine, open-mouth smile that made ryan's heart rate increase four times its normal speed. "is my house okay?" he added, gaining another nod from ryan. brendon scribbled down his number and adress on ryan's hand, hoping it wouldn't smudge. "come whenever you like" brendon concluded with a pat to ryan's shoulder and a "good luck" as he glided out the bathroom door. ryan watched as he went, feeling something deep inside him that wanted to just...no. he thought to himself. don't fuck it up, ross. ryan sighed shakily and walked out the door, returning to his shitty job with an anxious heart.


	3. voice of an angel

it was 8 pm, and brendon was sitting at the grand piano that occupied the majority of his living room, singing loudly and smashing his fingers rhythmically against the keys, his head thrown back and covered with sweat as he sang his heart out to a random song he'd heard thousands of times. he was holding a particularly long note when the doorbell sounded throughout the house, causing him  
to jump a little. he ceased his playing and prayed that nobody had heard him, stalking over to the door in long strides. he opened it, greeted by the face of ryan, who was dressed in the same unreasonably short clothes as he was earlier. "i uh.. j-just wanted to give you prices. full night is sev—" the boy stuttered, only to be interrupted by brendon, who had a deep blush across his face. he tangled a gentle hand in the boy's messy brown hair and sighed. "ry, i don't want to buy you, dude. i just want to talk. let you have a safe place" he smiled, opening the door wider and inviting ryan in. he stepped forward hesitantly, looking around at the lightly furnished house. "nice place.." he said simply, trying to make small talk. brendon nodded and walked up to ryan, looking down at him. "hey." he sighed heavily. "relax. i don't know what kinda shit you've gone through, but i'm not gonna hurt you, okay? if i do anything that makes you uncomfortable, you better tell me" he says sternly, giving ryan a hesitant pat on the shoulder, feeling guilty when he flinched under his touch. "sorry." he mumbled, walking to his fridge and grabbing two beers. "here, dude, you need it." he said with an outstretched arm, offering ryan a beer. he took it and smiled crookedly, mumbling his thanks. brendon cracked his own open and sipped at it with a relieved noise, followed by a happy grunt. ryan stood awkwardly, heat rising to the tips of his ears for no reason. "come on. sit down with me" brendon offered, waving towards ryan and trailing over to the sofa that sat in front of a tv, plopping himself down on it. ryan followed, sitting a bit too close to brendon. he never complained, though. brendon only smiled, his eyes bright and filled with something ryan couldn't begin to explain. his smile was so damn contagious, too. ryan felt the corners of his mouth rising into his own smile. the first real smile brendon had ever seen. the man breathed out, turning his gaze to the ground and shaking his head. "so. what do you wanna talk about, mister ryan?" brendon asked in a sophisticated voice, making ryan giggle quietly. "whatever you'd like, sire" he replied, winking stupidly and making brendon laugh. he was so beautiful when he did; throwing his head back and squinting his eyes. ryan smiled even more, feeling the uneasiness trapping his heart slowly fading. his mood was still down, though. because he knew. he knew that once he walked out of that door, it was probably all over. this safety he felt. whatever he and brendon may have. brendon quieted down, looking back to ryan and wrapping an arm around him, careful to stay in the acceptable boundary. "hey, you alright?" he asked in a concerned tone, moving his head down and locking eyes with ryan. "yeah, it's okay" the boy replied with a blank smile, straightening out and sighing, blinking upwards and looking around the house to distract himself. he saw the slim figure of a guitar, and his eyes instantly darted back to brendon, who looked surprised. "holy shit! do you play?" ryan asked with wide eyes, and brendon shrugged. "a little. but im not good at it. i can play piano, though" he replied, his face lit up with an amused look, and ryan darted up, running over to the guitar. he looked over at brendon for permission and the man nodded with a wide, loving grin as he stood slowly and walked over. ryan slipped the strap over his head, looking at it. it was red with little suns on it. cute. the guitar was nice too, and it fit his hands just perfectly. he sat on the end of the (long) piano bench, facing brendon as he expertly laid his fingers across the keys. ryan pondered on what they could play, or if they could play at all. he was probably just getting to excited. stupid. he scolded himself internally, sighing. he felt teary eyed, but brendon snapped him out of it with that smooth voice. "what do you want to play?" he asked, his eyes on the guitar. well, not so much, but more of the way that the it fit ryan perfectly, and his fingers wrapped around it with so much strength, his knuckles were turning white. "well i, uh, i've always t-tried to be a songwriter. it never really..worked out, since all i can do is play guitar..but we could try one of the pieces i have?" he offered, slamming the words out in one big jumbled mess, making brendon smile. "me and my old buddy wrote it. jon" the boy continued, fumbling through stacks of neatly organized papers in the satchel he'd brought along. "we only wrote words and chords, so you'll have to improvise with the uh.." he motioned towards the piano, handing brendon the sheet with shaky hands. he took it carefully and set it up above the keys, nodding to ryan to start. "i'll start up after you. i'll get used to it" (time to cry y'all)  
ryan nodded, strumming at the guitar repetitively. "start in about here" brendon mumbled to himself, making a mental note. he looked at the words and swallowed thickly. "im.. gonna sing too. if that's okay" he coughed, and ryan just nodded, focusing on his strumming. brendon parted his dry lips, quakily letting the words slip out in the best way he thought possible.   
"if all our life is but a dream,  
fantastic posing greed then we should feed our jewelry to the sea  
for diamonds do appear to be,   
just like broken glass to me." he sang, his eyes shut as ryan strummed a little longer, and he began playing the piano. he knew ryan was watching him. what he didn't know was that he was watching him with wide eyes and a parted jaw, and that tears were pricking at his eyes.   
"and then she said she can't believe  
genius only comes along in storms of fabled foreign tongues,   
tripping eyes and flooded lungs,  
northern downpour sends its love"  
he went into the chorus.   
"hey moon, please forget to fall down.."  
ryan joined in hesitantly.   
"hey moon, don't you go down"  
brendon..brendon fell in love.  
"sugar cane in the easy mornin'  
water vanes my one and lonely.  
the ink is running towards the page—  
it's chasing off the days look back at both feet and that winding knee  
i missed your skin when you were east  
you clicked your heels and wished for me"  
brendon opened his eyes and smiled at ryan, whose eyes were now shut with intense concentration.   
"through playful lips made of yarn, that fragile capricorn unraveled words like moths upon scarves"  
ryan sniffled quietly. and brendon looked over at him, locking eyes with him and singing one last line.   
"i know the world's a broken bone"  
sniff.  
"but melt your headaches, call it home"  
ryan choked out quietly, smiling, and allowing tears to run down his cheeks. brendon stopped playing and stood up, walking to sit himself in front of ryan and wrap him up in the warmest hug he could possibly create, holding him tightly. "thank you so much" ryan whispered, his voice struggling to go above a whisper. "shh.." brendon soothed, petting his hair. there were words their that were left unspoken, although they hung heavy in their hearts. they both knew, but neither of them wanted to break the silence. ryan sighed, his tears continuing to rack his entire body for about 20 more minutes. he finally sat up with wide eyes, looking up at brendon and giving him  
the warmest smile he'd ever seen in his entire life. "i have to get going soon." ryan said sadly, and every bone in his body was aching for him to stay. to stay in brendon's arms. his warmth. his safety. but he knew very well the consequences. brendon nodded, understanding and standing up with an arm around ryan's neck. "you gonna be okay driving home?" he whispered, and ryan only nodded, wiping his eyes and walking towards the door. "call me if you need me, ry" brendon said as the distance between them closed. ryan lifted his head with a quiet "oh" and began to remove the guitar from around his neck, but brendon simply uttered a quiet "keep it" before ryan was gone. brendon sighed heavily and pressed his forehead to the door, along with a hand. what he didn't know, is that ryan was doing the same, right in front of him.


	4. praying for love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (TW: abuse & smut)

brendon had been going to the club more often now. every other day. the first time he came back, ryan's eyes melted into his, full of surprise that he'd come back. they only ever just waved or talked through eye contact.   
this went on for about a 3 week, and ryan had come over once or twice. this visit was just like any other. well, not exactly.

brendon walked into the club and looked around with a smile, which quickly faded. ryan was nowhere to be seen. "well..damn" he sighed, walking forward a bit more and having his attention averted as ryan was shoved out of the bathroom by a taller, much more intimidating man who wore a leather jacket and two sleeves of tattoos. he was grinning sadistically down at ryan, who had messy hair and crooked clothes. and god, brendon was pissed. he had a fucking boyfriend. what an ass— his thoughts halted as he read over ryan more clearly, seeing that he was shaking violently and cowering up at the man. "come on, ry" he hissed, grabbing ryan roughly by the collar of his shirt and pressing a rough kiss to his lips, which ryan flinched at, but didn't try to stop. the guy pulled away and wrapped a hand around to cup ryan's ass, and he muttered a small "no. leave me alone..". the man continued to grope him, despite all of his attempts to get away, and it set brendon off. "hey, buddy, he said no." he growled, causing the man to spin around and face brendon with a laugh. "i do what i want" he spat in reply, and ryan mouthed a silent, shaky "help" from behind the tall man. whistles went off in brendon's head (thanks natalie), and he was furious. nobody deserves that. he thought to himself. especially not ryan. HIS ryan. brendon stormed forward and kicked the man in the shin, a punch being thrown in his direction and dodged. "he said-" brendon kicked him in the crotch.  
"leave—" a punch to the side of his head. "him alone!" he finished, raising his foot and kicking the man directly in the stomach, making him collapse into a sobbing heap. "if i ever see you touching him again so help me i will not hesitate to snap your fucking neck!" he snarled, kicking the man one last time and grabbing ryan's hand, pulling  
him out of the danger zone. "t-thanks.." he said quietly, still visibly shaken. ".." brendon only shook his head. "you should've told me, ry" he mumbled, hurt swirled into his voice. "h-he would've found out a-and hit me.." ryan squeaked, causing brendon's eyes to dilate. "no no..it'll be okay. he's not gonna hurt you anymore. do you live with him?" brendon whispered, earning a silent nod from ryan. they watched as the man staggered up, limping out of the building with brendon's eyes burning through him until he left. "im gonna fix this. i promise" he sighs, ruffling ryan's hair and secretly giving him a few shots "down them quick. and go back to work until it's over, okay baby?" he said soothingly, not even realizing the words that slipped out of his mouth. ryan just nodded, drinking the shots and wiping his mouth and returning to the pole. brendon walked outside and talked to the leather-clad man, telling him to bring all of ryan's belongings to his house, or he'd press charges. the man left with an understanding yet pissy nod, and a scowl after brendon said "i mean everything."   
that damn conversation had lasted an hour, and by the time brendon had gone back inside, ryan was giggling all over the stage, his dancing extra messy, but more arousing. brendon snorted quietly and seated himself around the other men getting lap dances and hungry glares from other performers, but all he was paying attention to was ryan. who winked down at him, sliding close to whisper something. "care to pay my expenses?" he said seductively, licking his lips and laughing at himself. brendon smirked and pulled out his wallet, handing ryan a $50 because why not. he took it gratefully and stalked closer to brendon, who bit his lip and sat there as ryan drunkily grinded on his lap, causing brendon's breath to hitch in his throat. he didn't want to touch ryan, though. it felt wrong. he was drunk. but he didn't mind the little show he was getting. ryan's body was so nice. his hips, his hair, just him in general. brendon groaned at his thoughts, inevitably becoming aroused. "can i come over later?" ryan whispered in his ear, and brendon nodded. "already planned on it." he grinned, making ryan grin too. "time's up" he said deviously, making brendon roll his eyes into his head and stand up awkwardly. "fuck" he stuttered, waving a quick goodbye to ryan and exiting the club. he went to the curb and was currently thankful that his house wasn't too far. he always walked. but now, the path seemed dreadfully long. he huffed, jogging until he reached the apartment, dashing into his room and shutting the door and locking it, walking over to his bed and flipping on the tv while he laid on it. his pants were unbearably tight thanks to ryan, that fucking tease. he sighed heavily and absent-mindedly hovered a hand above his crotch, palming himself gently and letting out a quiet "god". his mind wandered to dark places, remembering how badly he just wanted to be able to reach his hands how and hold ryan's hips, and god it turned him on. "ah-shit" he gasped. "he probably doesn't even like me. i'm a pervert" brendon chuckled quietly, continuing to knead himself until he came with a grunt. and that honestly didn't take long.   
he was changing into more comfortable pants a few hours later when the doorbell chimed, and his heart soared. to his dismay, it was only the leather-coated man, who he'd learned was named dustin. brendon opened the door and was greeted by his "friendly" face which publicly displayed the black eye and busted lip brendon gave him. brendon took the shit tons of bags dustin carried along with the guitar he'd given ryan fitted into an old, important looking case. dustin turned and left whenever it was all in the house, and brendon slowly but surely moved everything into the room upstairs, directly in front of him. he had already dusted everything, made the bed, checked the cable, and made the room presentable for ryan. he even took the time to neatly put all of his clothes away in the dressers and closet, chuckling at his different attire, and blushing at some articles of it. he was finished unpacking at around 10 pm, and he found himself back in his room, waiting for ryan. he'd put boxers on and didn't bother to think it'd be awkward at all. the clock hit 10:30, and brendon was sound asleep, with no ryan in sight.


	5. anxious arrival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (TW: self hate/self-degradation ; mentions of alcohol & drugs)

the sharp sound of the doorbell sounded through the empty house at 1 in the morning, causing brendon to yell "shit!" loudly and run out of bed. he'd been sweating in his sleep, either from anxiety or..other things. he grabbed his phone and used the light to go downstairs (well, almost fall) and to the door. he unlocked it groggily to be faced with a soaking wet ryan, who was holding his head. brendon laughed quietly and pulled ryan in and setting him on the sofa. "here's a towel. and some pills for your head" he murmured softly, trying not to make ryan's headache worse as he wrapped the towel around him, pressing against him closely as he completely enveloped him in it and making ryan's heart beat rapidly. he took some of the pills and sighed. "thanks..bren" he slurred quietly, slipping between a drunken stage and a hangover. "before you pass out on me i've got something important to show you" brendon mumbled with a pat to ryan's shoulder, helping him up as well. brendon grabbed something metallic from a drawer in the kitchen and shutting it back. he took ryan's hand to help him around and tangled their fingers together out of habit, tugging him up the stairs. he led him to the door in front of his own and stood there for a second "i've never been up here before.." ryan mused, looking around in the barely visible hallway. brendon opened the door, revealing the freshly made bed along with the guitar sitting on it, and ryan's knees became shaky. he saw some of his clothes laid out neatly on top of a dresser, the rest of them poking out of the drawers. "i uh, had an argument with dustin. and..we agreed on this" brendon said shyly, and ryan stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds before turning to brendon and wrapping his arms around his chest. "thank you so fucking much" he whispered, and brendon hugged him back, smiling and kissing the top of his head just like he'd done the first time they'd met. ryan sniffled and pulled off of brendon, placing a shaky kiss on his cheek and making brendon laugh. "you're so cute.." he cooed. "you think you can sleep in here tonight?" brendon questioned. ryan nodded uncertainly, and brendon nodded back, patting ryan's head and walking into his own room. "i'm here if you need me. goodnight. love you" he called out, shutting the door behind him. he crawled into bed and sighed, turning towards the wall.  
"wait."  
"SHIT!"  
his face lit up and he heard the slam of ryan's door, making him cringe a little. nonetheless, brendon fell asleep quickly, sinking into his dreams again.  
ryan tried to sleep. he tried for two hours. he couldn't. thoughts were swirling in his head, and he felt old urges creeping up his spine again. he couldn't stop thinking about what brendon said. "does he really?" he whispered to himself, and decided, hesitantly, to stand. he opened his door quietly and closed it behind him, repeating the same thing with brendon's. he was wearing baggy sweatpants and a lewd choice of undergarments. oh well, he thought to himself.  
brendon felt the bed dip down behind him, barely waking him up as a body pressed against his, wrapping warm arms around his waist. brendon naturally cuddled up  
to the heat, pressing against it like a young animal snuggling up to its mother for warmth. and they fell asleep. just like that.

brendon woke up to a fuzzy feeling in his chest, and blinked his eyes open groggily to see that he was now facing ryan, who'd climbed into his bed at some point that night, and was tracing shapes into brendon's chest. brendon smiled and put a hand in ryan's messy hair, feeling blessed to be able to see him like this. no makeup, no unnecessarily small clothes. just ryan. the boy looked at him with cute, tired eyes, and a slight blush on his face. brendon smiled even more, ruffling his hair to the dismay of ryan, who swatted at his hand playfully.  
"you're a beautiful boy. you know that?" brendon spoke, breaking the silence and gazing deep into ryan's foggy eyes. ryan shook his head. "'no. i'm not" he replied, his voice sounding so normal for him to be criticizing himself so harshly. "honestly..i don't know why you ever helped me in the first place. im..just a toy for everyone. im ugly..im a stripper for fuck's sake. i can't even get a decent job, i let everyone step over me, my voice is weird, i—"  
he was interrupted by a set of plump, hot and puffy lips on his own, the heat coursing through his face. he never pulled away though. and for once in his life, it felt right. not a rough kiss that he didn't consent to. not the disgusting taste of booze or weed. just the sweet taste of someone he really loved. of brendon. he felt like he could cry, again. the man had the gentlest touch ryan had ever felt. and the voice of an angel. the compassion of a god. ryan felt so lucky. and damn, he never wanted to end it. brendon deepened the kiss, pulling ryan's head closer for a decent one, and neither of them stopped to breathe. they'd both wanted it for so long. and now they had it. and it felt so good. ryan felt so fucking happy. genuinely happy, and brendon felt like he'd done something right. they laid like that, tangled up in each others legs and arms, connected at the lips, and eventually at the hands. they both needed this so badly. it felt like a dream come true. brendon pulled away slowly, leaving their foreheads touching. "i love you too" ryan whispered, making brendon's eyes light up. he put his arms around ryan's waist, pulling him so close to where their bodies were flush to each other, and looked at him with a stern look. "i'm gonna prove it to you" he mumbled, dragging his body upright and tugging ryan along with him. he pulled ryan's shirt off with a glance up at him to make sure it was okay, and ryan nodded, his face red. brendon grazed his hands over ryan's abdomen, ducking his head down to leave a light trail of kisses down his side and up to his neck. "you have such smooth skin. beautiful eyes that i could just get lost in. your hair is a gorgeous colour, and your lips—oh your lips are so amazing.." brendon muttered as he worked his way around, ending with a long and passionate kiss. "and...."


	6. persistent proof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (sweet talk and smut HOLY FUCK im crying)

"and my god i just fucking love you" brendon concluded, his breathing occurring in an irregular pattern. ryan was squirming around, trying to hide his blood red face, only to whine when brendon would hold his wrists steady. "i love you too" he mumbled awkwardly, blinking his wide eyes up to meet brendon's, which were equally wide with a different look to them. he placed a soft kiss on ryan's collarbone, making him tense up slightly and release a small noise that made brendon grin and kiss down harder. they were facing each other now, ryan's hands resting shakily on brendon's bare shoulders while his hands were exploring ryan's body widely, memorizing every curve and feature with a painfully light touch that made ryan just want to lose it. ryan had his head down, facing down at their laps. brendon placed a hand under his chin and pull his face up to meet his in a peck on the lips. "is this okay?" he whispered, a worried look stretching across his features. ryan nodded, flashing a small grin, followed by one from brendon. "i'm glad i'm here, brendon" he breathed, resting his head on the man's shoulder while he played with his hair. "me too, baby" brendon replied, emphasizing the last word and hesitating before he speaks it. he feels ryan's face burning on his shoulder, causing him to laugh. he put his hands on ryan's shoulders, pushing him away gently. "you know, you were right" he mumbled, going back to his work at ryan's neck. "a-about what?" the boy replied shakily, his hands gripping around brendon's upper arms tightly.   
"you're not a beautiful boy." brendon groaned.   
ryan's heart dropped.  
"you're the most beautiful, stunning boy i've ever seen." he continued, nuzzling his head into ryan's neck, and ryan smiled so damn wide he thought he'd get stuck like that. "you're such a fuckin dork" ryan whispered, earning a bite on his neck that made him jump. brendon chuckled slyly, running his tongue over the sore spot to tease ryan. his hands trailed back down his slim figure, the tips of his thumbs hooking under the elastic waistband of ryan's pants and—oh. he looked down, pulling his thumb up slightly and chuckling in disbelief. "holy shit." he snorted, but not out of rudeness. in surprise. ryan was wearing pink lacy panties that fit him perfectly, and the sight of it made brendon groan loudly. "fuck, you just keep getting better" he grinned, looking at ryan, who was biting his lip and blushing so much that he looked like a tomato. "i never really changed out of them, um-" he stuttered, thinking he'd freaked brendon out. "relax." brendon soothed, snaking his hands around and pulling the sweatpants down painfully slow, making ryan whine like a needy kitten. "brendon-can we not um..y'know? is that okay?" he said quietly, his voice obviously full of fear. brendon nodded sweetly. "of course. whatever makes you comfortable..do you still wanna—" "yeah. yeah, that'd be okay" ryan cut him off , and brendon only smiled. brendon was already in his boxers, so he took a moment to scan over ryan, his eyes stopping for a long time especially around the panties. he could see so much through them, they were pointless. and fuck, he loved it. he looked up at ryan for the go ahead, given a quick nod from him.   
brendon thought about how to go about this, and settled for .. something. he palmed at ryan through the thin lacy panties, earning a quiet mewl from him. brendon continued that for a while, eventually slipping his hand in and gripping ryan properly, pumping him enough to stimulate him but not too much to where he was uncomfortable. ryan held onto brendon's arms and rocked his hips involuntarily, loud moans spilling out of his mouth that brendon just loved so much. he quickened his pace, causing ryan to gasp a loud "fuck!" and have to clench his jaw to keep himself from being loud. "it's alright baby. let me hear you" brendon cooed, squeezing his hand harder and earning a loud shout of his name that left him satisfied. ryan came in his hand not long after that, panting and holding on to brendon with a vice grip as he quivered and rode out his high. brendon wiped the mess away with the dirty t-shirt he had discarded yesterday, cleaning them up enough to where it wasn't too gross. brendon took a handful of ryan's hair and kissed his hung open lips, feeling hot, short breaths in his mouth. he pulled off and ryan leaned back a little, looking at brendon. "thanks." he said breathlessly, his usual shy voice now morphed into one dripping with sex and deepness, which really just aroused brendon more. "yeah." he replied, his eyes eating ryan up. he looked really good like this. "this" needed to happen more often. brendon was stuck in his thoughts before he was surprised by ryan pinning him down, kissing him roughly and holding him down with one hand to his chest while the other trailed down brendon's boxers—fuck. ryan was grinning down at him with the most sadistic looking glare, which completely surprised brendon. "so much for your innocent act, huh?" he teased, only to snap his mouth shut when ryan squeezed him, hard. he left brendon shoved down onto the bed while he trailed his tongue down brendon's side curiously, making him convulse under his touch. ryan made his way down and took brendon's dick in his hand, moving his head down on it and bobbing his head. this wasn't his first rodeo, if you wanted to put it that way. he licked a stripe down the shaft, making brendon gasp loudly and buck his hips up, causing ryan to giggle. he fuckin giggled at his dick. great. he re-attached his mouth, using his tongue to hit certain places that drove brendon crazy, and after a while, ryan was all the way down. brendon looked at him with a slacked jaw and lidded eyes, muttering a loud "fuck" at the sight and tangling a hand in ryan's hair. he hummed quietly around brendon, making him lay his head back down and groan loudly. ryan bobbed his head quickly, using his hands now. "im close ry—shit" brendon moaned as ryan just went deeper, if fucking possible. his grip in his hair tightened and he came with a loud grunt, panting as ryan pulled his mouth off with a 'pop' and licked his lips. brendon just laid there, murmuring multiple swears and moving his hands up to his chest. ryan crawled back up and kissed his swollen lips with his own, smirking deviously.   
"and that's what you get for staining my favorite panties."


	7. breathless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (fluff)

brendon laughed at ryan's little comment. "i'll buy you some new ones, princess" he purred, making ryan blush and nuzzle into him so he'd shut up. brendon ran a hand through his hair, one of his arms wrapped around him. "wanna go take a bath?" he offered, earning a small nod from ryan, who was feeling a little drowsy. brendon kissed his forehead and slid out of the bed, walking into the bathroom and turning the nobs on the bath to start it. he sat on the ground and placed his hand under the water, adjusting the temperature as needed. ryan yawned and walked out of brendon's room, the wooden floor creaking under his weight as he trailed to the bathroom. "gonna get some towels" brendon stated and stood, giving ryan a peck on the lips and walking back out. it just felt so normal. he loved it. brendon smiled and gnawed on his bottom lip as he grabbed two towels, some boxers for each of them, and two t shirts from his own wardrobe. he carried the bundle to the bathroom and sat it gently on the counter, smiling at ryan, who was already sitting in the bath with a red face. brendon pulled his boxers off and laid them on the floor along with ryan's (stained) panties. he carefully got in the bath, sitting behind ryan and facing his back to the wall, ryan leaned his head back onto brendon's chest, looking up at him with wide, cute eyes. brendon smiled and kissed him slowly, making it last long enough to where ryan had to pull away to take a breath. he laughed, and leaned his head back into the water, hovering above brendon's lap. two gentle hands combed his hair back into the water to envelop it all, and the same hands patted his shoulders to sit up. brendon put some shampoo on his hands and scrubbed it through ryan's scalp, earning a content sigh from him. brendon smiled and placed a loving kiss to his neck, using his soapy hands to form a mohawk on ryan's head, making them both giggle. ryan held up a "rock and roll" symbol on his hands, scrunching his face up to look like a stereotypical punk rocker. brendon laughed, grinning like a stupid lovesick middle schooler and watching ryan. he was so cute when he was like this, and brendon's heart soared at the thought that he was the reason ryan was so much happier. it'd only been a while that they'd known each other, but it fell like an eternity to both of them. brendon sighed and put his arms around ryan's body, holding his hands and resting his forehead on his shoulder. "im so lucky" he said quietly, his voice heavy with love and disbelief, making ryan smile and turn his soapy head. "me too." he added, shifting his shoulders a little. brendon lifted his head and allowed ryan to dip his head back into the water, followed by brendon's hands gently combing out all of the soap, careful to avoid tangling his hair with the possibility of hurting him. ryan looked so peaceful, his eyes closed, laying back. it was the first time in a long time he'd felt relaxed. brendon smiled when he noticed how blissful he looked. he wasn't tense, and his face was just..so beautiful. brendon sighed and cupped the sides of it, causing ryan to open his eyes and knock the breath out of brendon with them. he'd seen the colour of them many times now, but every time, they were still so stunning. that was one of the first things brendon fell in love with. the way his eyes expressed more than anything, his pupils always changing their width. brendon was just staring at this point, moving his thumbs to the corners of ryan's eyes and holding his head like that, barely submerged under the water. he sat up eventually, turning to face brendon. "you okay?.." he questioned, looking worried. brendon nodded rapidly, his lips ajar, just slightly. "yeah. you're just..you're breathtaking. i mean, god. every time i look at you.. i just.. lose it" he murmured, his eyes lidded with so much love, it made ryan melt. he wrapped his arms around brendon's neck and kissed him, placing one of his hands on the back of his head and holding it, detaching their lips and connecting their foreheads, and sitting there. brendon smiled and closed his eyes, moving a hand to cup ryan's head in the same way, breathing steadily. he almost fell asleep, to be entirely honest. brendon sighed and moved away, reaching out of the bath to grab a rag. he wet it and wiped off the dried remains from earlier. he was concentrated on ryan's lower half, choking up a bit when he noticed dark bruises littering ryan's hips. it made brendon sick. "im sorry you had to go through that. you dont deserve that, man. nobody does" he growled, running his fingers over the bruises and holding ryan's hips, barely. "dont ever let me hurt you, even if its an accident. okay?" he begged, looking up at ryan, who was crying. brendon sighed and cupped his face, using his finger to wipe away the tears. "i love you. so much. and i'm going to protect you. even if it means risking my own life. okay?" brendon promised, and ryan choked out a broken "okay." and an "i love you too" before he was wrapped into a tight hug, which he gladly accepted. they climbed out of  
the bath together a few minuted later, brendon helping ryan dry off, careful to be gentle on bruised areas. seeing it just made him more mad. he handed ryan a pair of boxers and one of his shirts, which was way too big for ryan. it looked cute on him, hanging down past the curve of his ass. brendon smiled, slipping on his own attire and letting the water out of the tub. he wrapped an arm around ryan's waist and kissed his neck. "come on. lets get something to eat. and relax. and later, we're gonna go talk to your boss, okay?" brendon promised, and ryan nodded with a shy smile, ruffling his own wet hair and dropping it afterwards, holding it out to brendon, who unwrapped his arm from his waist and took it, intertwining their fingers and squeezing ryan's hand assuringly.  
"it's gonna get better. i promise"  
"thank you."  
brendon made ryan pancakes.   
and ryan loved them. and brendon, of course.  
so much.  
especially the sweet taste.  
lets just say, ryan licked his lips a lot at breakfast.


	8. ???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> filler chapter tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (major tw; suicide / self harm)

they'd fallen asleep after breakfast, laying on the couch and watching tv lazily.

brendon didn't point it out, but he'd seen something terrible during that bath. not just bruises. well, not just on his hips. and something grim littered his arms.

brendon woke up, rolling over to greet ryan. 

but, he wasn't there. he panicked for a moment, feeling his heart race. 

he went upstairs. nothing.

"ryan?" he called out into the house, only to get no response. 

"ryan!" he shouted, tears pricking at the edges of his eyes. did he leave? did he forget me?

brendon put his hand to his head and ran back downstairs, pacing around. "oh my god. oh my god. he's gone" he whispered, and had a thought. he pulled out his phone and dialed ryan's number, and sighed with relief when he heard it ring from upstairs. his feet practically fell up the wooden stairs. 

he went into ryan's bedroom and followed the tone, until he'd reached the closet. it was ringing from somewhere that was up high.

brendon's heart sank. 

he slammed the locked closet door open, glancing up and choking. "fuck, no. ryan. ryan. you can't do this to me, man. WAKE UP! RYAN! GODDAMMIT!" brendon screamed, grabbing ryan's hung up body and hugging it tightly, tears leaking endlessly from his face. "no. no. no. this is my fault. ryan. FUCK!" he sobbed, his hands tightening around the corpse of ryan as the salt flowing freely from his eyes stained it.

he felt something on his shoulders. hands.

he shook violently.


	9. hey moon

"ryan!" brendon shouted, his entire body jerking upright. he was met with wide, scared eyes. ryan. "oh my god." brendon choked, lunging forward and pulling ryan into him. "oh my god. baby" he repeated, his breathing occurring at a dangerously high rate. "oh fuck. i love you. i love you so much" he whispered, tangling his hands in ryan's hair, rocking them both back and forth. ryan didn't struggle, but held brendon protectively. "bren..what happened?" ryan whispered, trying to shush brendon. "it's okay..i'm here." he soothed.   
"fuck i just.. i had a nightmare and . . god just. . talk to me. okay? about everything. anytime. i dont care. don't..don't leave me ryan." brendon rushed the words out quickly, untangling himself from around ryan. he pulled ryan's arms up gently by the wrist, kissing all up the length of either arm, wanting to burst into tears at the rough scars he was met with. brendon kissed his neck, and ran his lips gently over the barely visible bruises that formed a ring all the way around. ryan winced. "im sorry.." he whispered, but brendon only shook his head. "don't be sorry. i..god.." he sighed, rubbing ryan's shoulder as a comforting habit, even though he was the one with a pounding, heavy heart, sweaty skin, and a tearstained face. "it.. it was so terrible. too real. oh my god." he sobbed quietly. he couldn't help it. "please j-just promise me. you'll talk to me. okay?" he practically begged at this point, his breathing still off. ryan nodded, using his strength to push brendon off and relax. "i promise." he vowed, looking at the now laying down brendon and putting a hand to his chest, nuzzling into his grasp. brendon sighed and nodded for some reason, wrapping his arms around ryan's head and sighing, quiet noises being emitted from his mouth as he tried to stop crying.   
—————  
brendon calmed down and had actually fallen asleep, only to wake back up (with ryan in his arms) a few hours later. brendon looked at his phone. 3 o'clock. he groaned in dismay and shook ryan, who gave the same response. "c'mon babe. club's opening in '30" he whispered with a kiss to ryan's forehead. brendon slipped out from behind him and left him sprawled out on the couch, his arms wide. he held his breath and gazed upon the multiple scars that covered them, but said nothing and continued to go and get dressed.   
ryan was up eventually, holding his arms around himself self consciously as he went into his own room and changed into one of his cute outfits. a flannel shirt with a black vest to match, along with some jeans and floral vans. he also found a headband, and pushed his messy hair back with it, not bothering to fix it properly. it didn't matter. he was saying goodbye. goodbye to his old and torturous life. he smiled at himself in the mirror, which barely ever happened. he usually would shut his mouth, critiquing ever inch of his smile. but this time, he saw nothing wrong with being happy. he felt good. brendon met him outside his door, smiling up at ryan's outfit. he was gorgeous, and never failed to surprise brendon. he took ryan's hand in his own, causing the boy  
to smile even more, and look at the ground.  
they walked to the club, together, hand in hand, not giving a single fuck at the death glares and slurs thrown at them by strangers. it bothered ryan, yes, but he didn't care to worry for long. they entered the club with newfound confidence, strutting to the back. to the main office. his boss met them with an arched eyebrow, that pig, ryan thought. he was indeed a man of spherical shape, and his nose did look quite like a snout. they had a discussion, and ryan got his final paycheck. "too bad, boy." the man snorted, brendon groaning inwardly at his snobbish, rich sounding tone. "you were one of my prettiest dancers." he winked, pointing his cigar at ryan and making him furrow his eyebrows. "sorry. i've..just found something better for me. no hard feelings." "whatever." ryan shrugged and stood, brendon smiling up at him. they left and traveled from there to a nice cafe, in which ryan brought out an antique looking polaroid camera. "come onnn bren. just one. pleaaaase?" he whined, tugging at brendon's sleeve and making puppy eyes. the man rolled his eyes but finally consented, standing behind ryan and smiling, only to turn and kiss his cheek right when he took the photo. ryan grumbled and blushed, pulling the photo out and letting it process. it cleared up, and the photo, well, brendon thought it was adorable. ryan looked shocked, between a smile and a gasp, his cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink, while brendon's lips were pulled into a grin as he smooched his cheek. "definitely keeping that one." ryan announced, tucking it into his satchel and smiling. they both ordered coffee, sitting at the bar of the café that peaked out into the street. they talked for hours, never seeming to get bored with each other. they finished their drinks and marched home, hand in hand again.  
brendon yawned and stepped outside with a beer in his hand, sipping it gently. "psst. hey!" ryan whispered, and brendon turned around to see a big grin on his face. ryan motioned his hand for brendon to come to him. he did, and leaned in for a kiss, and ryan took off, making brendon sigh and chase after him, laughing. he opened ryan's door and he was climbing out the window, which made brendon's heart sink. thankfully, ryan was shining. "come savee mee" he taunted. "from walking off this window sill, my love" he said in a sing-songy voice, climbing out. brendon followed, almost slipping on his ass, which made ryan fall over with laughter. brendon didn't even know about this. there was a platform, just outside ryan's window. it had a blanket laid down perfectly, and fairy lights were strung all around it. brendon arched his eyebrow and sat on the blanket for a moment before ryan switched off all of the lights and scrambled on top of him, kissing him for a long time before rolling over under his arm and laying there. they laid their until sunrise, neither of them growing tired. "i wish this could last forever. the night. but also the day. the dark..it's scary to be in by yourself" ryan said wisely, his eyes twinkling with the stars' reflection remaining in them even as the light from them dwindled. "don't fear the dark, ryan. it's scary at first, yeah, but once you have someone to walk with you, it's..it's not so bad" brendon sighed, and ryan nuzzled into the side of his chest. brendon's lips parted. "hey moon, please forget to fall down" he hummed, half singing, half speaking. ryan smiled, so damn wide, reminiscing to when they had first hung out. when ryan knew. something had clicked, and the words he wrote only sounded right when they were leaking from brendon's mouth. they both stared at the sky. it was breathtaking, transforming slowly from night into day. the moon met the sun in the same sky, just enough for them to mingle together to make the most gorgeous shade of gold. the sun shined bright while the moon shyed away, too scared to remain visible. that was the last thing they saw before fading into sleep, cuddled together in each others arms, and all was golden in that moment.


	10. through the webzine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lot of smut ;)

ryan had lived with brendon for a month and a half now. none of their friends really knew about 'them'. pete and patrick invited brendon out for lunch, and he obliged, as long as he could have a +1, who was ryan, of course. brendon was pacing a trail on his bedroom floor, worrying a lot. he knew that pete wouldn't give a shit that he was gay. i mean, he quite obviously had a thing with patrick. the shorter male's cheeks were always a rosy color when pete looked down at him or ruffled his hair.  
brendon was dressed in a lazily thrown together outfit. a black button up, lightly colored and ripped jeans, (wow edgy), and some random black shoes, paired with his messy hair. he really didn't know why he was nervous. ryan opened his door and knocked on brendon's. "you okay in there? burning a hole in the ground?" his voice came from the other side, muffled. brendon rolled his eyes and opened the door, grabbing ryan's collar and kissing him, just for the hell of it. and to make him shut up. ryan looked dazed as he blushed, while brendon sashayed away like a diva. he scuffled after him, holding on to his shirt sleeve and walking to the door. "ready to meet the weirdos i call my friends?" brendon asked with a smile on his face. "yeah." ryan nodded. "well, gotta give 'em some props. good thing pete's a persistent asshole" brendon laughed, linking his arm with ryan's and beginning the long walk to the diner.   
they arrived like, 30 minutes later, and pete was already there to judge brendon, raising an eyebrow at the sight of the boy clinging to him. "well, i'll be damned, urie" pete laughed, standing and giving brendon a hug. he returned it and smiled up at ryan. "well, time for awkward introductions. ryan, this is pete, my weirdo best friend, and that—" brendon whispered in ryan's ear. "is totally his lover-best-friend-guy" he finished, making ryan snicker. pete's face lit up and he swatted at brendon. "the hell'd you say?!" he demanded, his face turning blood red. ryan only laughed harder. "anyways, this is ryan. my..boyfriend" brendon said confidently, even though his heart was in his throat. pete gave ryan a run over, followed by a loud, obnoxious clap. "i'm so proud of you. growin' up so fast—" pete mock-sobbed, making brendon growl in annoyance as the black haired man wrapped his arms around brendon over-dramatically and patting his back. patrick and ryan both burst into laughter, causing both of the boys to follow. they all sat down and ordered food. ryan was surprisingly quiet. he'd been acting off all day. brendon shrugged it off, but he was kind of worried. they sat across from pete and patrick, who completely disregarded each others' personal space, but neither of them minded. ryan sat close to brendon, always touching him in one way or another, whether it was a hand on his knee or their shoulders being connected. he kept shooting brendon this looks that he couldn't quite decipher. ryan's eyes had always been a gateway to his soul, but this time, a façade was placed over them, masking his real feelings. he knew how to do that too well, but brendon could still see through it. ryan was sensitive, fidgeting uncomfortably every time they brushed together, biting his lips at random times and just..staring at brendon with a blank hunger in his expression. he ignored it for the time being, trying to avoid looking at ryan when he spaced out while staring at him or the table. they got their food and ate, barely having time to take bites in between their conversations. "so," pete began, taking a large bite of his burger. "where'd you two meet?" he mumbled around his food, and the question made both of them look up. "you'll never guess," brendon said with a wink towards ryan, making him melt down into his seat. pete put his elbows on the table and placed his head to them, acting like a kid. "i dont like guessing.." he pouted.   
"somewhere we wouldn't have even known each other if i didn't go to. if it wasnt for you.." he gave another hint, smirking.   
pete's eyes lit up when he figured it out. "damn bren!" he chuckled. "good choice though. he seems good." he said absent mindedly, and ryan only smiled, blushing and twirling his fingers together. brendon put an arm around him and kissed the top of his head. "yeah. he's perfect." he beamed, half to ryan, half to pete. he laid his head on ryan's shoulder and faced patrick, winking. the boy made a pouty face and glanced over to pete. brendon glared up to him and nodded his head towards patrick, and he turned his head to look at him. pete smiled his usual wolfish grin and took a hold of the collar of patrick's red sweater, pulling him close and kissing him. brendon and ryan made obnoxious whooping noises and patrick almost passed out, the entire stretch of his face red as a tomato. they kind of ended up making out in the diner booth, making brendon stick his tongue out and fake gag. pete opened his eyes and flashed him a dirty look, shutting them soon after. brendon shook his head and looked at ryan, who was looking at his lap. he shrugged and returned to his meal, biting into his sandwich and nearly choking when ryan squeezed his leg a little too close for comfort. brendon coughed and covered his mouth, trying not to die. pete was finally detached from patrick for just long enough to watch brendon slam his knee against the table and choke on his food, and he was laughing his ass off. ryan , on the other hand, didn't make a sound. he innocently gazed up at patrick and had a casual conversation, all while moving his hand all around under the table. brendon never tried to stop him, because he knew how that would go. he just continued talking to pete, the tips of his ears red, and the sound of his voice quivering. pete nudged patrick's side with an elbow and gave him a look, one that made his eyes blow up wide. he nodded vigorously to nothing and adjusted his crooked glasses, which were accompanied by messy hair and swollen lips. pete put money on the table and said goodbye to the pair, grabbing patrick's hand and dragging him out of the diner. brendon snapped his glare to ryan, who was looking up at him innocently, his eyes still glazed over. brendon grumbled and stood from the booth, ryan following him closely and wrapping their fingers together. the walk back seemed so fucking long. brendon's pants were tight, thanks to ryan's shenanigans, which by the way, didn't stop. he kept squeezing brendon's sides and cupping his ass for short amounts of time, always shooting brendon that look. he looked so ravenous. brendon shuddered under his clothing and tried to walk with long strides, ryan's eyes burning into the back of his neck. hell, brendon felt kind of scared. not in a fearful way, but more of an..excited way. yeah. they reached the house eventually, ryan going in front of brendon and unlocking the door, dashing up the stairs as soon as he did. brendon shook his head in confusion and took his shoes off, laying them beside the doorway and making his way upstairs. ryan wasn't in his room. he rolled his eyes and opened his door, looking at the ground and walking in, shutting the door behind him. he looked up as soon as he felt someone push him back against the door, and ryan was staring back at him. his eyes were full-blown with what brendon could identify as lust. he exhaled deeply before ryan mumbled something and attached their mouths, shoving his tongue into brendon's and holding his head. brendon moaned quietly into ryan's mouth, especially when he started pushing up against him. brendon tried to reach out, but ryan only pinned his hands above his head. "wh-what brought this on?" brendon questioned and pulled off. ryan had never really been submissive, but this, holy shit. he acted with such dominance it made brendon shiver. "..i had a dream." ryan said simply, keeping brendon's hands pinned with one of his own and using the other to crane his head up as he left sloppy kisses on his neck. brendon let out a long noise. "really? that's interesting. was it about m—" ryan bit down hard on brendon's neck, quiet growling noises forming in his throat. brendon panted, his hips threatening to buck against ryan's. he noticed this and pulled his hands away, shoving brendon to the bed. brendon scurried back and laid his head against the pillow, barely having enough time to breathe before ryan was straddling him and kissing him again. brendon had a chance now and used it, grabbing ryan's hips and holding onto them. just for the hell of it. yeah. sure. ryan shook his head and pushed himself against brendon, making him gasp loudly to ryan's satisfaction. he moved his hips in a back-and-forth motion, grinding down on brendon as teasingly as he could. "ryan, please" he groaned, but it came out as more of a whine. ryan grinned and undid the button of brendon's jeans, along with the zip, and tugged them down in one swift movement. brendon kicked them off, sighing in relief. this was better for ryan, anyways. less fabric to work with. he moved to where he had a knee on either side of brendon's hips, using his own to continue his mindless grinding. brendon put his hands on ryan's hips again and helped him, resulting in him have his head laid back. "do-do you want to try it?" brendon popped the question, expecting ryan to tense up and stop, but he didn't. he just glared at brendon and grinned. he looked evil. but it was pretty hot.   
he pulled at his own loose pants, shaking out of them. brendon smirked and looked at ryan. he had blue panties with lace lining the top, and they were littered with different colors of flowers. "cute." he teased, but didn't even attempt to touch him. "d'you have any lube?" ryan asked quietly, and brendon nodded, pointing to his bedside table. ryan kissed him roughly before sliding away, pulling his shirt off while he was at it and brendon admired him. his ass looked great clad in the choice of underwear he'd chosen, and his muscles were showing slightly. brendon bit his lips and palmed at his boxers, but ryan turned around with a bottle in hand and barked a demanding "no."   
brendon obeyed, to his dismay, and sat there with his arms sprawled out. ryan was eyeing him up and down. the tables had turned. brendon didn't mind. ryan slipped off brendon's boxers and threw them into the pile of clothes on the floor. brendon's legs were spread open, and he shivered against the cold air. "i-im not used to being in this role" he admitted, and that just made ryan happier. "so, i'll be your first then, huh?" he whispered, sounding pleased with himself. his confidence had skyrocketed in the short month or so he'd been with brendon. he enjoyed being the one who was in control. ryan moved and straddled brendon's lap again, rutting his covered self against brendon, moaning at the friction. brendon wasn't too far behind him, small noises spilling out of his mouth rapidly. ryan did that until brendon begged him to stop, his eyes teary. "please just—fuck me" he whined, not believing the words that were coming out. ryan smiled at him with lidded eyes and grabbed the bottle of lube, putting some on his fingers. he moved brendon's legs apart more, causing him to grunt. he slipped a digit in, without warning, and brendon's whole body convulsed. he let out a string of "fuck fuck fuck"s, trying not to let the pain of it get to him. "tell me if you want me to stop, baby" ryan cooed, sinking another finger in and scissoring brendon open fairly quickly, but not enough to hurt him. brendon was already a whimpering mess. ryan scoffed to himself. "not submissive my ass.." he murmured under his breath, curling his fingers and making brendon shout. "ok-okay just, ohmygod, ryan-" he rambled. ryan added a third finger to the mix and was pleased when he realized brendon really didn't need it. he pulled his fingers out gently, making brendon almost sob. he pulled his legs up a little and rested them over his shoulders, lining himself up with brendon. "please don't let me hurt you, okay, baby boy?" he whispered, putting a worried hand on brendon's abdomen. brendon nodded spastically, panting. ryan nodded and put his arms around brendon's legs, pushing into him fairly quickly and gasping at the pressure. he gritted his teeth and brendon breathed heavily, his hips quivering almost invisibly. ryan eased himself in and was careful not to hurt brendon, trying to be patient. he'd been thinking about this all day.. "m-move." brendon said suddenly, snapping ryan out of it. he nodded and moved his hips, gradually building a steady pace. brendon's eyes rolled into the back of his head when ryan moved a little, adjusting his angle to hit just right. loud, inhuman moans spilled from his mouth, and ryan's joined in the mix. "mmn,, you feel so good. fuck-" he stated loudly, his voice being lost in the noise. he rocked his hips violently, making brendon's head hit the headboard rapidly, but he didn't care. he was swept away into bliss, his mind blank, only focusing on the sweet pain he felt in his lower regions. "m close-" brendon said between soft grunts and moans, using a hand to pump himself and groan even louder. ryan nodded. "me too" he forced out, his grip tightening around brendon's legs as he moved faster. "fuck-d-ryan!" (ohohoho) brendon shouted into the hot atmosphere, loud enough for the neighbors and the neighbors' neighbors to hear, his vision going fuzzy as he came. ryan basked in the feeling he felt. he felt like he was making someone feel good, and god, the most attractive someone in the world at that. he groaned and swore, rocking his hips quickly and coming not too long after brendon. he dropped his heavy legs from his shoulders and pulled himself out, falling next to brendon and helping him come down from his high. "you okay baby?" ryan whispered, crawling to face brendon. he nodded. "well, my ass hurts, but.." he smiled, pulling ryan in for a tender and post-sex kiss, his breath hot on ryan's lips. ryan got up and pulled his panties back on, pulling them up just a little too tightly and walking out of the bedroom, feeling tired himself as he drew another bath.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont really have any idea as to where this story should go, so unless i get re-inspired to finish this for real, this'll be it

times got a little tough after that. brendon's job stopped being enough to pay for both of them.

. but, no need to worry. ryan and brendon finally got their happily ever after in the end. 

brendon never told his story, though. ryan was always left in the dark about it. he didn't bother.

ryan took up a job as a journalist on the side, while his main career consisted of him, brendon, jon, and spencer, brendon's friend. they started a little band. ryan wrote lyrics and brendon continued to serenade him, along with small local crowds.

they found out that jon was really good at guitar, and spencer could make sick ass beats. they went on together in that business, forming a little band that went far. pete and patrick's band went far too, and they played together with other bands in the mix. ryan and brendon, well, they never lost that spark, thankfully. they went on to get married and never really fought. impossible, right?

well..

 

 

you're not wrong.

(fin)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for kinda ending this abruptly.  
>  it was fun to write but i'm out of ideas for this story, and have things in mind for my next story/stories.   
> so, that's the end of this book
> 
>  
> 
> or is it?


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